….until next Sunday. That’s right, my week long sabbatical is about to begin. I leave at 10am tomorrow, to house and cat sit for a family member up in the Catskill Mountains. Why will I not be on FB?
Several reasons.
1. No wireless internet. I can only sit in a chair with a desktop for so long before my body protests.
2. No cell service. (perfect chance to find solitude)
3. I’m literally going to be out there where the closest neighbors are bears and snakes. If you know me, I’m scared to death of snakes and already having nightmares about it.
4. I’m hoping for a life changing experience this week (more on that below). I think the solitude, and sabbatical from all forms of social media will do me good.
Now, some good points.
1. I will be able to check my voice mail, and when I get to an area with service (the local ski resort is one place) I can get texts and messages there.
2. I will be checking email every day.
3. I will be blogging daily, in fact I’m doing a week long special on LymeBites about my journey into the mountains.
4. It will make you all love and appreciate me SO much more when I return. (Or worst case scenario in 8 days none of you will know who I am anymore.)
Now on to my sabbatical portion of this week.
Lyme has really…ummm, we’ll say “messed up” my life. I’d like to swear there, but I won’t. I’ve dealt with it as it has happened, but in retrospect it scares the living crap out of me. Because as I’ve adjusted to the present, I haven’t focused on the future. I do not want a life being “disabled”, but right now that’s where I”m heading.
I need to renew my fight against this disease. I won’t lie. I’m tired. It’s wearing me down. I don’t have the fight I had a few months ago. I need to renew and recommit myself to beating this hideous disease.
I haven’t been alone in a long time. I’ve lived at home now almost 8 months since I had to give up my home and job and everything. I have a lot of alone time, laying in bed being sick. But I haven’t been alone without a cell phone ringing, FB comments to respond to, FB games to play, FB friends to talk to. I average at least 150 texts a day. So even when I’m alone, I’m not truly alone. This week, I will be. No cell service, no wireless internet. It’s going to be a time to get to myself again. Because I’m not the person I was 16 months ago when I became ill. I’ve changed drastically. Some days I don’t recognize myself, so this next week I’m going to get to know the new Eric. The old Eric is gone. He lives on in legend (at least in his own mind), but he will never be back. So it’s a new me I need to spend some time, get to know, and eventually learn to love. Because we are all sick with this disease, and we need love. I need to start with myself, because to be honest…I no longer know who I am.
And lastly writing. My manuscript should have been done on Sept. 1. I’m still stuck on editing the first chapter. (The rest is written, just not organized…I seem to have trouble with first and last chapters.) I need this time to focus on that too. Get it together and done so I can work on my next great Lymemoir.
In addition, many of you have expressed concern about lack of presence on social media sites. So please know, I am doing a special series on LymeBites this week all about my sabbatical. Each day I will share with you what has happened. It may be that I ran from a bear, or had to call 911 to come get a snake. I may have some major life epiphany that will change how I see things. Or maybe it will just a be a journey of rediscovery and I learn about myself and where I am in the world right now.
But one thing I have to say. I know without a doubt that I am in the exact place, at this exact minute, that I am meant to be at this time in life. There is a reason for everything. I joke that getting sick was God’s way of slapping me upside the head. While I joke, I also feel it’s the truth. This experience has changed my life, and changed what I consider sacred and holy in life, the love and support of the people you create as a universal family, as well as the mourning a life lost and how to make peace with that.
So please, check out LymeBites this week to share in my daily adventures as I tough it out in the mountains (in a house, with all the modern comforts…just no cell service!) I can always be emailed, my email addresses are on my profile page or on LymeBites. And if you need a # to reach me at, you’ve got about 12 hours to ask for it.
I pray that each of you have a wonderful week, and that you get to enjoy my journey as I share it with you through LymeBites. And as for all my Facebook and Twitter family…I will miss you more than you know. I already can’t wait to return to your loving (cyber) embrace. Thank you for helping to make me the man I am today. It’s the Lyme community that has taken the support I’ve gotten from friends and family, and brought it to a whole new level of self discovery and purpose. Thank you for all involved in that.
Now go get ready for a week without Eric…and prepare for when I return, bigger and better than ever! (Well hopefully not bigger, I actually hope to lose a few pounds while I’m away…I figure running from bears and snakes is good cardio.)